Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Crap colored glasses

I hesitate to trust my perception because it has failed me so many times in the past. I would often see things through the filter of what I had been taught as a child or what I had read and taught myself. Also I would look at life tinted by emotions, especially fear. As I have grown older (and hopefully wiser), many of the ideas that I held dear have changed.

For example, for at least a decade I saw and heard of the abuse and brutality of the police (and started breaking laws) and just knew that the one mission of the police was to persecute me and make my life miserable (and take my money). When I stopped breaking laws I stopped paying fines and going to jail. Now I look at the police and see an organization that helps to protect law-abiding people like me (though there are mnay abuses of the power they are given to protect with).

Another instance of perception gone wrong involves a self-fulfilling prophecy. For years I thought that having been homeschooled and growing up on top of a hill in the middle of the woods left me socially retarded. This perception caused me to be shy and standoffish around people and not make friends. This reinforced my faulty perception, causing me to become even more distant. I have come to realize that I am just people, just like other people, a regular guy. This sometimes allows me to see past the dirty lens of my mind's eye and learn to appreciate people. This perception is stubborn though, and will probably take continued work to perceive more clearly. Journey onward.

Peace be with ya'll,

Aaron Doyka

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