Beware the ambiguous gestures

I am very reluctant to proceed with conversation or interaction with people based on non-verbal cues. After growing up on top of a rock, immersion into the stream of life was a bit of a culture shock. So I got in the habit of asking verbally when I'm unsure what someone is meaning.

I have become better at understanding non-verbal expressions in certain situations. One of these situations is selling home improvment products to people who want them. Often a part of that process is disseminating the information to the customer about how to use or install the product. Often the only way I can know if they understood a particular part of the instructions is to pay attention to their non-verbal cues. Are they expressing understanding or confusion? Sometimes I do misunderstand these cues. Just yesterday at work I had to sign an audit for a installation we had to refund because the customer said she didn't understand that there were going to be seams in the carpet. I had given her all that information in the same process I do with every customer, and I didn't detect any expression of not understanding. (I think she was a liar and just wanted to try to get something for nothing.)

An area that I have not done very well at learning to interpret non-verbal signals is interacting with females. For example, last semester there was a girl in my Spanish class who I thought was repeatedly flirting with me and sending me signals that she wanted to get better acquainted. Between the smiles, the way she would lean closer than she had to to talk in class, and other subtle differences in posture when she was conversing with me or others, I was mislead. After I asked her to dinner the truth came out. She already had a boyfriend and was not interested in dating, she just wanted attention. Silly girl.

One other situation wherein I have gotten better at interpreting non-verbal cues is the classroom. I have become a bit of a ham, and will make goofy comments during class. Often this is fairly appropriate humor and I can put my two cents in at the right time. Sometimes though, I cross the line and become a little inappropriate, or a little too disruptive. The body language of the teachers lets me know where I stand. I haven't made a bad misinterpretation in this area yet, but there is allways the next class....


Peace be with ya'll,

Aaron Doyka