Culture Shock

I experienced my first culture shock when I moved from Decatur, Alabama to Montgomery, Alabama. These two cities are both in Alabama, but are totally different. Decatur is where I was born and raised. Decatur is now growing, but back in 1998 when I left it was pretty small and predominantly white. I considered myself being comfortable with black Americans because I am black myself even though I did grow up with predominantly white people and had a lot of white friends. Graduating from high school and attending college down in Montgomery, Alabama, which is a two and a half hour drive from home, was exciting but scary. I did not know anyone there. My parents moved me in and stayed with me that weekend. On that same first day of being in the new city, I decided to take a drive to Big Lots to look for some home and decor for my apartment. I met this guy who was working there stocking the shelves. He asked me out and with me being so young, naive, and curious, I said yes and took his phone number. We met at the Krystals down the street from my apartment. I told my parents I was going out to the movies, which I did. Upon arriving at the movies with this guy I knew nothing about, I began to feel a bit of anxiety when stepping out of the car, and seeing nothing, but black people. Don't get me wrong. I don't have a problem with black people. I am black myself. But I just was not used to going out and seeing nothing, but a bunch of black people all together all at the same time. I was surprised that there were no fights or shootings. I was very much relieved. Montgomery is just much different than Decatur. Montgomery is predominantly black, and the crime rate is much higher than Decatur. I had several different experiences to mention that took place in Montgomery, Alabama. I will just quickly mention one more. I was invited by my hairstylist to her birthday party. Upon arriving, I quickly found out that everyone at the party was gay and so was my stylist. I tried to be calm and cool and stay there and hang out with my hairstylist.
But I had to leave because a girl kept trying to talk to me and touch me, so I left.

Hi everybody, this Evan:
Today I will write about culture chocke because I experinced in hundreds of them since I was born and raised in , Egypt, different socity.
The hardest problem have faced me is the language. Speaking English was an obstical for me to deal was people around me, espesially in the beginning.
At least, it was hard for me to talk to the doctor to tell him what was hert me, and I had to take a friend with me to help me in translating eventhought this spouse to be a privacy conversation with my doctor. But I could not do anything except, trying to improve me English.
Now, I am working hard to be better in speaking the English languge.

OTHER PEOPLES PERCEPTION OF ME!!!!!!

As you all know, both my parents are from Afghanistan, In today's times that culture is not a happy one to talk about because of the current situation over sea's. I'm sure everyone is familiar with what happened on 9-11-2001, well at that point when i saw the towers fall i had a bad feeling in my gut, I knew now that every ones views will have changed, but i did not think that it was going to be a situation where Marshall Law was going to take place. My perception was that people will obviously be upset and will look at foreigners in a different light.
On 9-13 I was living in Cincinnati OH. and that evening my brother and one of my female cousins decided that we were going to go out downtown to the bars. We arrived downtown and started to bar hop, well about three hours into the evening we had lost track of each other, while I'm looking around, i noticed that there were three men who were wearing cowboy hats and boots that were profusely starring at me, all the while I'm looking for my family that i had came with and could not find them. I stepped outside the bar to place a phone call to my brother when these three guys walked out of the bar and gathered around me. They proceeded to start calling me a "Sand Nigger" and camel jockey among other things, I asked them why they were trying to harass me and they answered, your people just bombed the towers. Before i could get anything out of my mouth all three of them were beating me to a pulp. I tried to defend myself but i had no chance, the most funny thing was that there were two police officers less then a 100 feet from where this was taking place and they did nothing but turn there cheek and walk away. I ended up with a broken jaw, three broken ribs and a broken ankle.
All of this taught me a very valuable lesson, my perception of how the world would take this tragedy was completely wrong, peoples prejudice comes out no matter what and that peoples ignorance were at its best. There is no prior thought process before people act and that event really saddened me because that was the beginning of many malicious attacks on the innocent, it as well taught me that racism is very much still alive and that even though as far as our culture has come, people still are quick to judge a book by its cover.

perception

I was 18 years old when i found a girl that I liked .I perceived her as a honest person that was working towards creating a better future for herself. We went out for several weeks. After several weeks of going out i figured out that she had a small addition problem with weed and LSD. She had stopped with the LSD due to a bad trip but refused to totally stop weed.One day her sister called me, and she told me that she was not only cheating on me she had a fake ID and was lying about her age. I was shocked I found out the person she was going out with behind my back and we talked and it was confirmed so I left her.I was very surprised when i found out that she was cheating and she honestly left me very insecure but she taught me the lesson be careful with your trust.

How Shocking

I was home schooled for my first two years of high school. On my third year of high school which would have been my junior year I went to McGavock high school. Going from home school to public school was different.It went from doing what i want and when i wanted to do it to what they want and when they wanted it. The most shocking part was probably the transition from being home alone almost everyday then going to a school of thousands of people.

Culture Shock in a different World.

Well I have had many experiences of the nature that would consider themselves to be culture shocks but one definately stood out to me back in February 2006. I was a greeny and a gringo. It was a term that was given to all the new american missionaries that came to the mission in Rancagua ,Chile. My first day walking around in Chile I felt completly lost. But it wasn't just the fact that I was away from home and out of the country but also I didnt know spanish. People would laugh and smile and pause and make certain facial expressions that I was familiar with but I didnt know what they were saying. I had a companion in Chile who had been there for a little over a year so he could speak fluently with the chileans and every time I had the chance I would ask him what he had said. He was from Utah ,but spoke spanish very well. I asked him what the conversation was about and he would just laugh and tell me that they would give me a hard time for not knowing psanish very well at the time. Well it was a couple months later when I had an unforgettable experience and a cultural shock. What happened to me in this particular moment could happen to anyone anytime anywhere, but the location made the likeliness of the situation very high. I was with a different companion for a day to get to know another part of the area I was in and it was towards the end of the day. Time to meet back with my gringo companion. Well we were a little behind on time and so our pace walking down the street was alittle quick. I was so worried about being on time to meet with my original companion that I almost was running. Well no sooner had I finally caught sight of my companion and another missionary waiting for me and the missionary I was with that I heard a scream from behind me that said watch out( in spanish). I looked behind me as I kept on forward... The companion I was with was caught in a head lock with two guys who had a gun and were asking for our money. We shouted several times that we didnt have any money all we had were our scriptures and that was it. Our bibles were in big black bags that were bulky enough to appear to contain money so they robbers eventually decided to take off with our bags and I was scared stiff. The tone of skin on my face had changed to pale white. I was shaking and started to shout to the chileans in english ," hey get back here with my bag". What my bag also contained at the time were all my english books including my english bible so I didn't have anything english to read after that. I was so amazed at how this had all happened. I didn't have any english books to read from that day forward so of course I learned spanish as I could only read the spanish books I had after that. It was a culture shock because I wasn't aware of how desperate the people in poverty were. After that experience I was given alittle more of a backbone because I figured anyone who would do something like that to me agaqin would just be talking and not really intend to harm me and sure enough, I learned to live with such a strange culture according to my view of chileans. Obviously I am thankful to have made it out alive. I know how to defend myself now and I am fluent in spanish. So I grew from it.

She's My Co-worker?

Starting off at a new job can be pretty scary in itself, but not knowing who you may be working with is even scarier. I've been working for the same insurance agency for a little over two years now, and I feel like I'm very lucky to have such an eccentric co-worker.

My co-worker Hannah is something else, but honestly she's the reason why I am able to fully communicate with clients and my peers. Starting off I didn't know what to expect working for an insurance agency, but I felt confident enough to do it. I also, didn't know what to expect from my new co-worker, Hannah. Right off the bat she was extremely nice, loud and very expressive. To be quite honest I was thrown back, because I'm almost the complete opposite. It was hard to keep up with her. She had a lot of energy and a pretty hefty vocubulary; she's an English major from Lipsomb University. She's also a strong christian based girl. There would be times where we would carry on conversations, and I just felt like I couldn't keep up. She was using words that I never heard, she vividly expressed her emotions and she would even sing. I literally would just sit back. I felt indifferent, I wanted to be able to keep up with her, but mostly I wanted to really be able to talk about God with her. I wanted to snap out of always being the one receiving the information, and not giving it. I feel if she were a bit softer with her personality, I wouldn't of felt so afraid to come out and it would of sparked more of a gradual connection.

She challenged me in a big way. I felt the need to be have the knowledge that she has, to be able to communicate with someone like her. To be able to extend my vocabulary, and just the motivation to really be outgoing when meeting new people. I also wanted to be mentally able to communicate with very opposite people, you end up finding out that they're not so different. I feel like I could be thrown in any situtation, and come out successful.

You're a What?

My life has been so diverse that it's difficult for me to admit much culture shock unless my journey through life has been riddled with nothing but it. Sometimes black and white have no grey area yet they become intertwined to the point you just become numb to it or adapt. After spending a childhood moving from place to place every year and sometimes more often than that I have grown accustomed to being the odd one out; I almost relish it.

I suppose the most distinct instance of culture shock I have experienced would when I dated someone who would be considered I suppose "young and upwardly mobile." The two of us had little trouble communicating, but social occasions were always rather awkward. At that time I did not know who I was and identified myself by my role and not as myself. I spent the majority of these occasions in a shell attempting to connect but having a difficult time doing so.

These social gatherings always began very cordially as I was wearing the proper attire and introduced as the girl friend of this individual. The first question that was always asked was the one that always made me leery- What do you do? My response at the time was that I worked as a project manager for a local construction firm. The attitude of the person asking the question would immediately change, and I would spend the remainder of the function alone and wishing it would quickly end..... even when I was the hostess.

Occasionally further questioning would ensue as to what my plans for the future were because it just wasn't proper for a lady to be among a group of roughnecks making a living. I would explain that I was in school to be a teacher (I had been going into electrical engineering, but my boy friend had talked me into a more "feminine" selection.) Upon making my major known I would be criticised the remainder of the occasion for throwing away my education on some poor helpless children and being penniless. I always found this amusing because the majority of the women in this circle were not employed but were supported by their husbands' income.

I made several attempts to join in conversation with these ladies only to feel like an outsider intruding upon the lavish lifestyles of the wealthy. Their discussions about clothing brands that I cannot pronounce, going to the spa for this and that, and uneeded plastic surgery made me feel like I had entered another realm of which I was alien. I had nothing to interject in these situations because I could not relate in the slightest, having never experienced any of these hobbies.

These situations began to take a toll on the relationship between my boy friend and I. It was further compounded by his mother and brother who were very disappointed with him for selecting a woman beneath his socioeconomic class. This is what eventually did end our relationship.

Thankfully this is no longer an issue for me. I know exactly who I am now. I am proud of what I do for a living and no longer identify myself strictly by my occupation. I am secure in who I am and no longer feel like I must bow to those who see me as lesser. I feel no more need to hide in the corner ashamed of who I am. I now stand tall when confronted with the opinions of those who think me unworthy of their time because of my occupation and those of my parents. The most amusing reality in this situation is the fact that my income will closely match theirs within the next few years, but I will be more financially secure because I will remember the struggles to reach these goals and will not be mortgaged to the max attempting to impress people who are only out to impress people.

cross-culture skiing

The prevalence of co-cultures in this society makes it easy to have an experience outside of your cultural norm. Since leaving the small church & homeschool society I grew up in, I have never really fit completely into one cultural box. I may spend my work life with one culture, my school life with other cultures, and parts of my personal life dropping in on a number of different cultures between musicians, family, and various groups in an organization that I am a member of. Usually I feel like a chameleon who can blend in close enough for comfort in these situations.

One instance in particular that I had a pretty big shock happened in the late winter of 2007. I had just quit working in a factory where the cultural norm was Redneck. I found a new job at IHOP, which I had worked at before, just in a different city. Much to my surprise, I found myself to be the only cook who spoke any English other than a few food terms. This was a little awkward, but I was confident that I could cook the food anyway and I really needed the job. While I worked there I not only picked up a lot of words in Spanish, but I also developed an interest in learning Spanish. This intrest was actually the catalyst that got me back into school in the fall of 2007. The first class that I took was Spanish 1010.

It is sad to me that I find it difficult for me keep up interaction with persons who speak Spanish after I left that work environment. While I was able to be comfortable being in an environment at work where communicaiton was severely limited, once the common ground of omelettes and pancakes was gone, so was my interaction in Hispanic culture. I have not yet found another cultural bridge. However, my experience helped to shape the course of my life since then. I have a lot less fear of Spanish speaking persons, even though I am often ashamed to try to speak with my limited vocabulary and poor grammar. What little Spaninsh I do know does sometimes come in useful at my present job though. Also, my style of cooking at home started to incorporate a lot more black beans and tortillias, and I like that. Ski on, enriched by that I have skied though.

Peace be with ya'll,

Aaron Doyka

What a Change

I have been going to Hunters Lane High School since my freshman year. It is mostly African-American people so thats what I was mostly used to. I started my freshman year at Vol State and it was a big culture shock. It was barely african americans which was fine but, it kind of took me back a little. I'm used to being around loudness all the time, fights arguments and etc. It wasn't like that all the time but it happened. I got to Vol state and it really shocked me. I felt a little uncomfortable at first because in half of my classes I would be the only black person. It was more mature and the people wasn't childish. Everybody was nice and all but I just had to get used to this change. It caused me problems at first because I didn't want to stand out. I could've just shook it off and not worry about this change but It was hard. I'm use to it now. Everybody is nice and I love Vol state now.

Nonverbal communication

I have worked with nonverbal individuals in the past. This can be challenging but rewarding. Nonverbal individulas have to find other ways of communicating. I used to have this one client who loved to smoke cigarettes. I knew he wanted a cigarette when he would point to his mouth and moan.


Another client would make a fist and put it up to his mouth, this meant he was hungry.


When my child was just six or seven months, she would hold her arms out and reach for me and whine a little. I knew then she wanted me to pick her up.

To Thank, or Not to Thank???

This example of a non-verbal miscue happened just days ago. I was out with a few friends celebrating one of my good friends getting accepted into law up in Boston, so needless to say he is leaving soon. Usually for a celebration of this kind, we would tend to pick a night that was less busy or crowded, since we are not there for the atmosphere, but to see a friend off with other friends and not have to worry about other people we do not know getting in the way I guess you could say. However, since this came kind of suddenly, we decided to go out on a whim.

It was Friday night, pretty late, and the bar was crowded with people to the point that you could not walk. You had to do one of those "hold your drink above your head" deals so you would not bump into the all the people and spill it everywhere. Since it was very crowded in there, the lines to get a drink of any kind at the bar were very long, as opposed to the normal walk right up to the bar kind of nights.

Well, having been a bartender myself before, I was feeling for the lone bartender working that night. Who knows why he was there alone... probably someone called out, short staffed, who knows. But he was working as fast as he possibly could to get everyone's drinks in a timely manner. So with this in mind I waited patiently at the bar and got passed over a few times, that is just the way it goes sometimes. So when I finally gave him my drink order and received it a few minutes had passed by, and many people around were agitated by this, as most people tend to be now a days if anything takes longer than three seconds it seems, especially in a crowded loud bar.

After getting my drink and paying for it, tipping, etc, I gave him what I have always viewed as a friendly gesture... the sign language for "thank you." Well, I often forget that not everyone knows what this means. Myself, I do not know sign language, only a few things I picked up along the way. Well, he looked at me pissed off like, and the next time he ignored me when I went to get a drink. Come to find out later that one of my friends I was knew the guy from a previous job, and the bartender thought I was telling him something else with my "thank you" gesture. Let's just say he thought I was giving him the same as a middle finger.

After I found this out I explained to him what I meant and apologized for the confusion. After I said that he felt a little silly for misreading me and all was forgotten. So I guess the lesson of this is, never assume that people will understand your gestures no matter how common you think they may be. If I would have mouthed "thank you" along with the gesture would it have changed anything? Probably so. But the gesture itself was found to be offensive, even if it was with the best intentions.

Beware the ambiguous gestures

I am very reluctant to proceed with conversation or interaction with people based on non-verbal cues. After growing up on top of a rock, immersion into the stream of life was a bit of a culture shock. So I got in the habit of asking verbally when I'm unsure what someone is meaning.

I have become better at understanding non-verbal expressions in certain situations. One of these situations is selling home improvment products to people who want them. Often a part of that process is disseminating the information to the customer about how to use or install the product. Often the only way I can know if they understood a particular part of the instructions is to pay attention to their non-verbal cues. Are they expressing understanding or confusion? Sometimes I do misunderstand these cues. Just yesterday at work I had to sign an audit for a installation we had to refund because the customer said she didn't understand that there were going to be seams in the carpet. I had given her all that information in the same process I do with every customer, and I didn't detect any expression of not understanding. (I think she was a liar and just wanted to try to get something for nothing.)

An area that I have not done very well at learning to interpret non-verbal signals is interacting with females. For example, last semester there was a girl in my Spanish class who I thought was repeatedly flirting with me and sending me signals that she wanted to get better acquainted. Between the smiles, the way she would lean closer than she had to to talk in class, and other subtle differences in posture when she was conversing with me or others, I was mislead. After I asked her to dinner the truth came out. She already had a boyfriend and was not interested in dating, she just wanted attention. Silly girl.

One other situation wherein I have gotten better at interpreting non-verbal cues is the classroom. I have become a bit of a ham, and will make goofy comments during class. Often this is fairly appropriate humor and I can put my two cents in at the right time. Sometimes though, I cross the line and become a little inappropriate, or a little too disruptive. The body language of the teachers lets me know where I stand. I haven't made a bad misinterpretation in this area yet, but there is allways the next class....


Peace be with ya'll,

Aaron Doyka

Why Roll Your Eyes?

My wife has always expressed to me when she is annoyed or bothered by a certain something or someone. She rolls her eyes and doesn't say anything. She even has made me aware of this while we were dating. Well one night when we were out getting a bite to eat at Las Palmas I was talking to her and just telling her my opinion about the election which she felt strongly about her candidate and I felt opposite about her candidate for president. She rolled her eyes when I made the comment and didnt really say much after the conversation. I was worried I might have said to much against her candidate for president. But it turns out that she never even heard me comment about him and she was annoyed because the food had not come out yet. I was woried because I thought I was the problem, or at least I thought I was what caused her to roll her eyes. It was the slow restaurant.

Was She Hating?

It was my second semester in High School. We got new classes and new teachers. Of course we got childish females who try to brang you down. When i walked into my new class i sat down and i had sat my books on my desk. I kinda had a mug on my face but thats just how I am sometimes, i never notice that i do it. I'm assuming that this girl took it the wrong way and she claimed I was doing it to her. So she was talking ish behind me so i said sumthn and it turned into this big altercation and i ended up getting put out. So a simple look on your face can give off a bad vibe.Something that I never notice that I do. Oh well, I can't help it. She got the wrong impression of me right away!

I was dropping my daughter off at daycare one morning. I thought the car that had just pulled up was the mother of a little boy in my daughters class so I waved. Turned out it was a man who I did not know at all that was dropping off his kids for another class. I guess he was just being polite and waved back, which apparently his very upset girlfriend/wife(?) did not like. I had to explain that I thought his car was her car, that I did not know him and it was a simple mistake. Something so innocent as a wave created unwanted, unnecessary drama. It was quite embarrassing and has taught me to make sure I know for sure who I am waving to.

Hands Off

I have tried to be more mindful of the feelings of others in our society when it comes to this disgusting custom we call shaking hands. My apparent dislike for the preoccupation with exchanging bodily fluids and filth unfortunately leads people to think that I am disgusted with them and not their mindless acceptance of this horrendous social nicety. Please allow me to explain.

I understand in business, especially in mine which is male dominated, that shaking hands is a customary greeting. The act of extending one's hand toward another is an occurrence that seems to happen both by introduction and supposed respectful recognition. Despite my disgust for this action, in the business world I have come to accept this as something I must endure if I wish to continue working in my industry. This by no means implies that I favor this gesture.

In my personal life there have been many occurrences of which I have come across as condescending or outright rude for my refusal to shake the hand of another. There are three major reasons I despise this action. It is completely unsanitary. It is a violation of my personal space (I rarely even give my name in situations where it is not required). Lastly, it is a major breech of etiquette.

Yes..... the woman construction worker also considers herself a lady. According to the rules of etiquette it is rude and presumptuous for a man to extend his hand to a lady in greeting. If a lady wishes to express greeting in a physical manner she will first extend her hand to indicate to the gentleman that she acknowledges him. Under no other circumstances in a personal encounter should a man ever extend his hand to a woman.... and there you have it.

Despite the fact that I must endure this custom for the sake of my career I refuse to acknowledge it in my personal life. I have unintentionally offended many people because I decline to touch their unsanitary paws, but please also keep in mind that your personal existence does not entitle you to touch mine. If our relationship does become one of a more intimate nature I am sure that an agreement can be made as to a more suitable physical greeting as opposed to the robotic mandate of exchanging bacteria palm to palm.

consequence not expected

I was trying to ask my mom a question and she gave me a look that made me think she did not love me anymore! but later on she asked me what was wrong and i told her i didnt think she loved me n e more! she then explained that she did!

perception deception

i was playing basketball one time and thought that one player had the ball when really another player had the ball and scored! my perception decieved me and caused the other team to get two points ahead! that is my perception deception!

Crap colored glasses

I hesitate to trust my perception because it has failed me so many times in the past. I would often see things through the filter of what I had been taught as a child or what I had read and taught myself. Also I would look at life tinted by emotions, especially fear. As I have grown older (and hopefully wiser), many of the ideas that I held dear have changed.

For example, for at least a decade I saw and heard of the abuse and brutality of the police (and started breaking laws) and just knew that the one mission of the police was to persecute me and make my life miserable (and take my money). When I stopped breaking laws I stopped paying fines and going to jail. Now I look at the police and see an organization that helps to protect law-abiding people like me (though there are mnay abuses of the power they are given to protect with).

Another instance of perception gone wrong involves a self-fulfilling prophecy. For years I thought that having been homeschooled and growing up on top of a hill in the middle of the woods left me socially retarded. This perception caused me to be shy and standoffish around people and not make friends. This reinforced my faulty perception, causing me to become even more distant. I have come to realize that I am just people, just like other people, a regular guy. This sometimes allows me to see past the dirty lens of my mind's eye and learn to appreciate people. This perception is stubborn though, and will probably take continued work to perceive more clearly. Journey onward.

Peace be with ya'll,

Aaron Doyka

Ground Control to Major James....

When something is not as they seem... hmmm.
Well, I guess talk about something funny. Before I stopped being a touring musician a little over a year ago, there would be many days and nights (sometimes it felt like days on end) that I would have to go without sleep. But one time I remember very clearly.

It wasn't my turn to drive the van, but Noah had a little too much to drink after the show so i volunteered so the next time my turn to drive would be skipped. Well anyway, we were driving through the desert outside Phoenix somewhere in the middle of no-wheres-ville. It was the middle of the night and everyone passed out except for me. Now to this point I had been up for almost 48 hours straight. Not safe, I know. That's for another blog on driver safety, haha.

So anyway, the sky was very clear that night and the desert out there is very flat, so I could see the stars from the sky all the way to the bottom of the earth. The desert was so flat it seemed to go on and on, right into the stars with no end in sight. Now on no sleep and feeling like Jack's Sneaking Revenge from Fight Club or something, this started to mess with my head. No sleep is some kind of natural acid, and can mess with a man on a lonely stretch of desert in the middle of the night.

They Are Not So Bad After All!

I used to think that people who worked at a hospital were just cranky and illnatured. I never liked going to the hospital anyways. The thought of getting cut up and getting poked with needles all day for who know what just irritated me. Well I met a girl a little over a year ago and we dated. I came to find out that she was a nurse at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital and was real skeptical about who she was. I started to critic her every word and all that she did. When she would be upset and take it out on me for the way I drove, for example, I just thought to myself, "well she is a nurse". Then finally One day we talked about our days at work and what we had experienced as we learned more and more about eachother. She started tellnig me about all the little kids she has to keep up with at the hospital and how emotional it is for her to see the families struggle like they do when they have a child with a critical illness or whatever the case may be. She told me it was real hard for her to see those families experience all they did, and she would feel so bad for them, not knowing most of the time how to help them, if their kid was not improving health-wise. So then it finaly occured to me that they( nurses, doctors, hospital workers) are not so bad after all, atleast at Valberbilt. It was a big lesson for me and also a big change of perspective as well.

No School for You

Graduation week was just around the corner. I hear everyone excited about what university or college they are getting ready to attend. I sit, hopelessly. I received an appointment to West Point Academy, denied. 3 year scholarship to Vanderbilt University, denied. Belmond, denied. I had all these open doors, and I was the one who had to close the door.
I, just like everyone else, knew that I would be attending a great school. I had no worries, my grades were good, I had so many things under my belt, nothing could hold me down. Never did I imagine that being illegal would hold me down in the way that it has. I mean, is it my fault im in the United States, did I ask to be brought over? No. My perception was, i'm getting ready to leave home and go to school. I already had schools asking about me, I was sending in applications, writing essays and for what? It wasn't until a week before graduation that my counsilor sat me down and dropped the news. "Cristal, i'm so sorry but as of right now there isn't much of an option". So I guess that's how i'm supposed to live. I have to work for the rest of my life, save every nickel and dime to attend school part time, because I can only afford to take on at a time, due to the out of state tuition. Is this right? Is this legal? According to law, it sure it. How can somone's hopes and dreams be demolished over their status in the U.S. I guess it makes sense though, I guess I can understand the National Security Issue.
I led myself to believe that I wouldn't be one of the kids that didn't do anything with their lives. I felt like I hit rock bottom. Here I am graduation day, looking forward to what? It was a bitter sweet day for me, but life is what it is. I can only control what I think and do. Failed perception, my friends. I thought one thing, when it was the complete opposite. It's been tough, but I can't change it. I just hope to be some kind of inspiration for someone in my exact position, it can be done. You need to work your butt off, and dedicate yourself to exceeding the limitations. I just hope that i'm never let down in that way again.

The Grass Is Not Greener....

I've been a construction worker for many years. After enduring a long span of sexual harassment at one particular company I decided I woud leave the industry behind and pursue an office job within a different industry. I applied for a position with a company that broadcasts a radio show on talk radio dealing with money.

I was intrigued for several reasons. I knew I would never have to worry about sexual harassment in a normal work environment (naive yes). I was going to have the opportunity to work with females for the first time. Most importantly I would be free to be open about my Christianity and not have my faith stifled or ridiculed by my coworkers; it is mandatory of course to be a Christian to work there afterall.

Things started out smoothly until I realized I had entered a new realm of hell. I quickly learned that which denomination of Christinaity you belong to is a major factor in who will and will not associate with you. I was promptly informed that my traditional way of worship at my small church was no competition for the large liberated churches with their drum sets, electric guitars and preachers in flip flops. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy these kinds of services mid week for a pick me up, but I was not accustomed to that style of worship on Sunday mornings and was shunned for it.

Working with females was a new experience for me, and I realized (no offense intended ladies) that I related much better to the men with whom I had worked before. I hadn't heard so much gossip, seen such cattiness, or felt like I was in the midst of a seething cauldron like I had when I worked among the ladies.

What prompted my quick exodus from any social circle within the realm of ladies I believe had something to do with my desire to actually work between 8 and 5, a standard not held in high regard by most employees in that company.... and that behavior is acceptable! When approached at my desk I would promptly respond that if they had nothing of a business nature to speak with me about they could send me an email or catch me after work. This would cause them to cry uncontrollably (I am not making this up) running into my supervisor's office explaining to him how mean I am for not chatting with them. My supervisor would then call me into his office giving me a thirty minute lecture about not being so abrupt with the ladies and trying to develop relationships.... and I thought I was here to work. my mistake

What ultimately led me to the end of my rope with this company is how intrusive they were into every aspect of every employee's life. If I had been caught at Applebees sitting at the bar with a beer I could be fired. If I had a person of a different gender living with me as my roommate, and we were unmarried I could be fired. The fact that I am a smoker met with constant scrutiny, though I only smoked on my lunchbreak and did so off the premises.

This was a blessing and a curse. I had a shotgun wedding and for the most part a shotgun divorce. Having no friends in the company I obviously chose to not share my nuptuals or pending divorce with any of my coworkers; it was afterall none of their business. Somehow they found out and chastised me for divorcing after 3 weeks of marraige. I was given the option to enter a six month emotional rehabilitation program (in house) at a facility of their choosing financed by them or be fired. hmmmmm.... I'd say I chose option 2 thank you very much. Don't you love working in a "right to work" state?

I was quite grateful for the three months severance package they gave me. It was a lovely addition to my bank account after acquiring a new position in less than a week...... you got it-back in construction! I love the company I work with now and feel priviledged to walk in the doors of their office every day. There are some interesting challenges one must face in the construction industry, but I will take them any day over the drama and chaos of a normal office. My perceptions of life without a toolbelt were seriously incorrect and naive. The grass was not at all greener on the other side.

I have a friend who is always in and out of trouble. She was recently involved in a DUI. I spoke with her and tried drill it in her head that there are obviously other people on the roads and she could have really hurt someone. She seemed so upset and ashamed of her actions. I honestly believed she was going to straighten up. The very next chance she got she was out drinking and driving. I thought she was a decent person and I again believed that she would change. I was completely wrong.

ladyk

Hello. I am Kimberly Lewis. My major is psychology. I have a 4-year-old daughter. I am originally from Alabama. I have an Associate's Degree in stenography. I did not like stenography at first. I am starting to miss it a little now. But I like the medical field better.

Hi, I am ladyk. I am studying psychology at Volunteer State.
I once met someone who seemed to be so real and down to earth. This person promised me the world. This person sold me a lot of dreams, only for me to wake up and realize it was all a dream.