How much time do you spend listening everyday? Why is it that you can tell me exactly what happened on Desperate Housewives last week but can't remember what I said in the lecture last week?
Listening is an active process not just a matter of shutting up and paying attention. Carl Rogers, the psychologist, developed the concept of active listening. We all need to pay more attention, slow down, think less and hear people out.
Our biases often get the way of accurate listening just as with our perceptions. We hear what we want to hear or what we expect to hear. While being a good listener can be difficult at time much of the time it is simply a matter of avoid bad habits. The Free Management Library has some suggestions for good listening.
We can learn to be good listeners from sharing our mistakes in listening. Don't embarrass yourself too much but tell us about times when what you thought you heard wasn't what was intended.
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11 comments:
How can you avoid being embarressed from not paying attention, not gonna happen. Case and point - My wife and I went to Cancun on our honeymoon last July, while there, we hung out mostly at the beachside bar that had rope swings instead of bar stools, very cool by the way, after a few pina coladas and mudslides, my sences were less sharper than usual. While my wife and I were sitting there not paying attention to anything in particilar, a woman approached the bar and ordered a drink, she looked over to us and stated, "Well, you guys are just a swinging, huh"? What was heard was, "Are you guys swingers?" - I'll stop there, but you can see what happens when you DON'T listen.
I just wrote an essay about not hearing what is said for English 1010. While station in North Carolina I was with a volunteer fire department, one morning we responded to a house fire. In the front yard, the woman who lived there was visibly upset and my partner and I thought she had said her kids where in the house. After scearching the house I found 3 kittens. This was the best lesson I have ever recieved about listening to what is said and to verify what I heard.
As if not embarrassing my self is possible, there was a time several years ago when I asked a lady out for dinner and a concert. I heard the correct words but my understanding to her response was taken out of context. I didn't pay attention to how it was said and let my ego take me to places I never should have been.
As if not embarrassing my self is possible, there was a time several years ago when I asked a lady out for dinner and a concert. I heard the correct words but my understanding to her response was taken out of context. I didn't pay attention to how it was said and let my ego take me to places I never should have been.
Listening, to what goes on around you is very important. There are times when we get so caught up in whats going on with us we fail to pay attention to whats going on around us. We tend to let our surrounding take control of our focus and we can't hear what we need to hear. So it is veary important that we learn to seperate everything that we are going through and focus on what we are involved in at that time.
I always forget names. It always happens at the point where you can't ask them again either. I just wait until they say something in 3rd person. If not their name is just "hey dude"
T. Scalf
I WORK IN A RESTURANT AS A HOSTESS. WHEN PEOPLE ARE LEAVING WE HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE IN SOME WAY. HALF THE TIME THEY IGNORE US. IF THEY DON'T RESPOND THE FIRST TIME WE SAY OFF THE WALL THINGS TO THEM.EXAMPLE: GREEN SOCKS, PURPLE HIPPO, JELLYFISH. MOST THE TIME THEY STILL DON'T NOTICE US, AND IF THEY DO THEY DIDN'T HEAR WHAT WE SAID.
When I was a kid and talking to my mom I would always stop and say are you listening to me and she would say yes Leslie I can hear you to which I would always respond I know you can hear me but are you listening to me.
Lika Amanda I used to work in a restaurant. During my speil I would say "meow", at least once, sometimes twice. Very few people noticed in the four years I worked there. It made my job a little more fun though!
There are pelenty of times when I think I hear the wrong things. But I never thought it was about listening...I just thought I had bad hearing. I guess it is funny that you pay attention to something odd or what you wanna hear.
like i someone said "ya wanna go eat"
all I heard was something about my feet.. I dunno haha
Thinking you heard the wrong thing doesnt just have to do with listening, observing not just the speaker but also the environment and world around you is important in correctly interpreting what is being put across or said. People are also quick to be offended when they misenterpret something someone has said or acknowledged. This misenterpretation can lead to embarassment once the person relates that you obviously misinterpreted their message.
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